How to Read the Signs of Self-Centered People & Learn to Avoid Them

How to Read the Signs of Self-Centered People & Learn to Avoid Them

There are many common signs of self-centered people. Know what they are so you can spot them in yourself and know when to avoid others!

Have you ever met someone who was so completely preoccupied with their own life that they couldn’t see anything else? No matter how hard you try to talk to them about something that’s bothering you or share a problem, they simply steer the conversation back to themselves. You must learn the signs of self-centered people.

Self-centered people are annoying for sure.You don’t have to make room in your life for them. If they won’t take their focus away from themselves for a second, they don’t deserve your attention.

The most common signs of self-centered people

So, these common signs of self-centered people can arm you with the necessary information.

#1 They think everything is about them. If you ask a self-centered person to think about the world and the issues going on in it, they’ll pause for a second, shrug it off, then get back to thinking about themselves.

They cannot see the bigger picture beyond their bubble in life. They don’t care about other people or the problems going on, because they don’t affect them. Therefore *to them*, they simply don’t matter. This sign is at the top of the list. [Read: Getting Over Rejection: How to Bounce Back in No Time]

#2 They consider themselves better than everyone else. Not all self-centered people are narcissists, but many are. Considering yourself better than someone else is a sign of narcissism.

In this case, everything they are, do, and have, will always be better than everything you are, do, or have, in their eyes. Of course, in reality this isn’t the case, but don’t tell them that!

#3 They can be quite forceful. A self-centered person is fine if they’re getting what they want, e.g. attention, but once the attention shifts, they become forceful in the way they act. They may use very strong language and tell you what to do, basically dominate any situation, and make themselves the center of the universe once more.  [Read: 11 Tips to Fall in Love with Yourself and be a Better YOU]

#4 They use people. Self-centered people don’t really care about how someone else might feel. They’re simply bothered about getting the things they want and need. In that case, they use people to tick those boxes.

They’re also likely to surround themselves with people who make them look good, not pausing for a second to consider how that person might feel. Unfortunately, this is one of the most common signs of self-centered people.

#5 They consider their opinions to be fact. A self-centered person may consider your opinion valid, but that doesn’t mean they’re going to consider theirs to be less than yours. Self-centered people are very strong in their views and can be very opinionated. Their opinion is fact *to them*. It means that you’re more likely to be wrong than right in their eyes.

#6 Their relationships are short-lived. If you look back on the dating history of a self-centered person, you’ll find that there are multiple attempts, most short-lived. The ex-partner becomes tired of being used or pushed to one side and can’t cope with never being listened to. Can you blame them?

#7 They take selfishness to a whole new level. Everyone can be selfish from time to time, it’s simply part of being a human being. However, a self-centered person takes it from zero to 100 in seconds! They don’t see what they’re doing as wrong, and instead they focus on what they want at all costs.

#8 They’re rarely wrong. A self-centered person will rarely admit that they’re wrong, and if they do, they’ll somehow twist it around and make it not really about them in the end. If something happens, they’ll blame it on someone else and paint themselves as the victim, before shrugging it off and becoming arrogant and selfish once more. This is one of the main signs of self-centered people.

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#9 They never really show their true selves. A self-centered person often hides their true selves. You might not realize it, but deep down they’re easily hurt. If they show you who they really are, it makes being hurt far more likely. Becoming genuinely close to a self-centered person is difficult, and in some cases impossible, especially if narcissism is at play. [Read: How to Be Independent & Balance Seeking Help and Being Stubborn]

#10 They drag others down. It’s not that a self-centered person is dragging you down to make themselves look good per se, although some do that. Instead, they just don’t know when to stop, and they take everything too far. Criticism turns into borderline bullying, and as a result, they completely miss the mark. Without a doubt, this is why many self-centered people have only short-lived relationships.

#11 The ego rules. Arrogance is pretty common when someone is self-centered. The ego is at the forefront of everything. Their ego is so huge, it walks into the room before they do. You can hurt it surprisingly easily, but it will always mend and come back, probably ten times bigger as a result.

Are self-centered people always narcissists?

Many of the signs of self-centered people are also signs of narcissism. However, does that mean all self-centered people are narcissists too?

Not always.

To be a true narcissist, you should suffer form Narcissistic Personality Disorder or NPD. There are many people who are a little narcissistic because everyone has a slight bit of narcissism within them. But the difference is that most of us have empathy which balances it out. However, when someone has a total lack of empathy, that makes them a narcissist.

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Many self-centered people have empathy. They can occasionally care about other people other than themselves, but it’s short-lived. Instead, they choose who they care about very carefully, according to how it makes them look. That doesn’t make them narcissistic. However, it does make them pretty selfish and difficult to be around.

So, while all narcissists are self-centered, not all self-centered people are narcissists. It’s easy to throw the narcissistic term around and label everyone who shows a slight amount of selfishness, but we all do that occasionally.

You can also be self-centered for a period of time, e.g. if you’re going through a difficult period. That doesn’t make you narcissistic, it makes you human. It’s when the whole pattern is extended that you need to take a long, hard look at yourself and question your motives for what you’re doing and why.

However, if someone is truly self-centered, narcissistic or not, you should probably also think carefully about whether you want them in your life. Your needs will never be met. Relationships are supposed to be two way things. A very self-centered person will somehow make everything about them.

[Read: How to Stay Connected during Self-Isolation & Keep Your Sanity]

It’s important to know the signs of self-centered people. Everyone can be a little self-centered occasionally, but when this is a long-lasting deal, they aren’t fun to be around.

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